My Birthing Experience

I have had the blessing of having two perfect babies, I have also had the unfortunate experience of losing a baby at 28 weeks.  It is hard to choose which experience to share.  So I will give a brief synopsis of all three experiences.

My oldest child was born when I was 20 years old.  It was a very terrifying experience.  I had never experienced all the strange things that were happening to me and oh the pain. Not having any tolerance for pain this was a true eye opener!  It lasted about 16 hours and I was an evil person, kind of like the exorcist. But eventually my son wiggled his way to the end and oh the relief when he was delivered. It is the true sense of relief.  I did attend the doctor regularly and did my best to prepare for his arrival.  However, being young I was still trying to hang with my friends at night and sleep in the day, so when he arrived his days and nights were all mixed up. I did not make that mistake with my next children.

When I found out I was pregnant the second time, my first son was 2.  I was surprised, but I quickly came to grips and decided I would survive this too.  I was almost two months when I found out I was pregnant.  It was a little more challenging with this pregnancy. I was dealing with a lot of stress within my relationship, and then I had my son and the three step children and all the drama that entails to deal with.  We were all young parents and so there was a lot of drama.  I noticed quickly that I was very tired and that I would have spells where I would just fall asleep without knowing it, passing out if you will.  I had discussed it with the doctor on my visit, but they said it was just hormones or my sugar and I would be okay.  When I was about 4 months pregnant I started spotting.  I had to walk to the doctor, with the two year old in tow.  I was very disgusted and aggravated with the situation, especially when I was lectured by the doctor on duty about not being able to afford medicine much less another baby.  It was a very discouraging experience. The doctor informed me she didn't see anything wrong, so I walked back home and went on with my life.  At about 26 weeks I started bleeding again, and so I was sent to the hospital where I was eventually shipped to a hospital with a neonatal center.  My opinion on this whole situation is that because I was not a cash patient I did not get all the preventive measures I could have to prevent the birth from happening.  At any rate at 28 weeks he was born weighing 1 pound and 2 ounces.  He was very tiny, the birth itself lasted two days and was ten times as painful as the first.  My insides were so tender that the exams were a nightmare! Unfortunately, my son lived 12 hours.  Because I live in the U.S., at least some effort was made to help his little fragile life even though the chances were slim that he would survive the birth itself. Today would have been his 14th birthday if he had lived.

My third pregnancy was also routine.  I attended doctors visits and they were more vigilant than the previous time.  Although she was two weeks over due, she was born a healthy baby.  Her birth only lasted 7 hours because I arrived at the hospital on Friday morning at 10 am and the doctor wanted her to be delivered before her shift ended, so they helped me along with medication.  Doctors are so great! Where was this medicine the first time? 

Prenatal care does impact the development of children in the sense that we can determine if children are having problems before birth and we can insure that they are healthy from the start.  I am also a firm believer that the child gets into a routine and a relationship with the mother while they are in the womb.  My son came out wanting to stay up all night and sleep all day just as I had done during my pregnancy.  I learned from that error and it took me a while to get his sleep routine adjusted.  Children are born with a sense for who loves and cares for them and can sense stress, anger and danger from those around them.  That is simply my opinion from my experience.  In America, we have the opportunity for medical care and early detection for problems.  We are also fortunate to have medical teams that are willing to save babies that would otherwise die when they are born prematurely for whatever reason.

I am thankful for the two healthy children that I have, but I will always wonder why Zachary was not allowed to make it.  I guess we will never know.